Remember this?
Of course. But do you remember this?
Children are the great forgotten Baywatch fanbase. Whilst adults may have had their own (highly suspect) reasons for appreciating the show, it was the strong plots, intricate characterisation, and the fun of imitating that run-and-dive combination in your local baths which had children hooked on this quality show.
(Let’s face it – it was basically just the run-and-dive.)
In honesty, due to her lack of flexbility it was difficult to get Baywatch Barbie to do a true run-and-dive. But that didn’t stop Baywatch Barbie being the best idea since Poptarts.
For most children the appeal of Baywatch Barbie was not only that Baywatch + Barbie was a genius combination, but that this Barbie could be played with in the BATH. Baywatch + Barbie + Bathtime?! The possibilities were endless.
And so Baywatch Barbie would rescue the turbulent waters of the Upstairs Bathroom from the evil clutches of Mr Matey. These scenarios would gradually increase in mundanity over time, descending via ‘Barbie Takes a Part-Time Job At The Baths’ to ‘Barbie Gets Her 50m Badge and Her Mum Buys Her Some Quavers From the Vending Machine to Celebrate’.
Baywatch Barbie came with a number of vital accessories, namely:
The Swimsuit – waterproof, quick-drying; Barbie and Bathtime could finally mix with some modesty on Barbie’s part.
The Dinghy – useful for capsizing in ‘storms’. Often resulted in bathroom flooding.
The Dolphin – as reinforced by the advert for Baywatch Barbie, Barbie’s supposed best friend. A suspect addition to the Baywatch world which was never quite to be trusted. Emitted a strange techno cry when its lever was pulled. Despite the combination of water and battery, suspiciously immortal.
To these accessories, of course, would be added the other staples of bathtime. And so Barbie would be left floating perilously on letter S of the Kids Bathtime Foam Alphabet, her dolphin trapped helplessly underwater in the empty 2 litre vanilla softscoop carton which had at some point become an indispensable bath toy.
Baywatch Barbie is for everybody whose Barbies would require therapy if they had memories.
Remember This? Nineties and Noughties 